Last Day in California!

Victor and I fly home tomorrow.  I am looking forward to giving my sweet babies a big squeeze!  That being said, it's been really nice to be able to spend time with Daron and Feifei, Nicki, and of course Victor!  

I feel pretty much back to normal today (aside from mild arm pain still).  We stayed in Pacifica last night and have spent the day exploring.  The two main attractions to this area are hiking and surfing.  We did both!  

We were standing up in these photos.

Those surf boards are big and heavy!!

It was a fun adventure!

I have a new found respect for surfers.

The waves were big and strong.  Really, really hard work!

We saw a sea lion about 10 feet from us, thankfully a shark was NOT right behind him.

I managed to stand up on the surfboard 5-6 times and "ride" the wave all the way in twice.

Victor struggled a bit but stood a few times.
Our instructor was great and patient.
We had fun!

After surfing we went on a mountain hike.

It was beautiful.

It's surprising how different the landscape is just 2-3 miles off of the coast.

I would have had a bit more fun on the hike if Victor had kept the 

"beware of mountain lions"sign to himself!

It was nice to have a day to ourselves and felt like a mini-vacay.

I am excited to see the kids and hope they haven't forgotten me!

Food In San Fran - Daron Style

I've eaten more than my fair share of food this past two weeks.  Hopefully, it won't be too painful to work it off when I get back.  I thought I would share a list of the yummy restaurants we've eaten at, mainly recommended by Daron!

1) Arizmendi Bakery -
             - best pizza I have ever had!!
             - I went here twice, the pizza is SO good

2) Pacific Cafe -
             - fresh seafood, free wine, excellent even though I don't like fish!
             - little overpriced

3) Outerlands -
             - Fresh bread homemade daily
             - Cute little bakery/cafe with a full menu
           
4) Hong Kong Lounge- 
              - Good chinese food

5) Park Chow -
             - Fresh, real food, lots of organic choices
             - Service was slow but food was great
             

Day of Recovery

I was still quite light headed/groggy when I got up this morning but feel fine now.  Except for my arm - it still hurts.  I am guessing she must have irritated a nerve when placed the "harvest" line.  Hopefully, it will be back to normal in a week or so.

We met Feifei and Daron for lunch today at a great restaurant called, Outerlands.  I need to do make a list of all the restaurants I have ate at during the past two weeks - yum! Daron knows food!

The vacation apartment we had been staying in while out here isn't available the last two nights so tonight and tomorrow Victor and I are staying just south of San francisco.  We spent all afternoon hiking along the beach and surrounding mountains.  Beautiful!

We looked into moving our flights up one day since I only had 1 harvest day instead of 2 but it was super expensive so we are going to just enjoy the extra day we have out here (although I miss my kids dearly).

Views from todays hike...

Whales - we saw a few of them today - of course you can't see them in this photo.
Amazing that they come so close to shore.  There was  a surfer 10 feet from the whale.

We have an adventure scheduled for tomorrow.

I am excited - look for the photos late tomorrow night!

Sooo Tired!

The harvest is over! Yay!  Everything went well.  They had me convinced that I would need to do a collection tomorrow as well but i don't.  They said they got more than enough for the upcoming transplant.  Dr. Damon (Daron's hematologist) said there is small (less than 10%) chance that they would need to bring me back sometime in the future but definitely have enough for the immediate future so they were happy with the collection.  Yay!

I am more than willing to repeat the harvest again tomorrow if necessary but not too sad to have it all done at once!

What happened on harvest day??

I got to the hospital at 6:30 AM.
By 8 AM I had an IV in both arms (yay!).  No neck catheter needed.
The nurse had given me 1mg of Ativan prior to starting everything because it helps keep your blood vessels from spasming.

My right arm had a normal IV catheter in it and was functioning as the return.

My left arm had a steel needle in it and was acting as the harvest sight.  It needed a steel needle (rather than a plastic, flexible IV catheter because the pressure from the plasmaphoresis machine would collapse the needle a plastic catheter).  Since the needle was steel I had to be very careful to hold my arm completely still or the needle might infiltrate.

Everything went fairly well.  The nurse had to readjust the needle in my left arm a few times but it wasn't too bothersome.  The only problem I had during the harvest has pretty severe left arm pain.  I really didn't expect the harvest to be uncomfortable at all.  I have donated platelets many times and that is completely painless so I thought this would be too.  I don't know exactly what was causing the pain but it was hard not to focus on it since I had to lay completely still for about 5 hours.  They nurse offered my Vicodin which I declined but eventually took.   Once it kicked in I was able to sleep for an hour or so.  The nurse also repositioned my arm a few hours into the harvest which helped too.

This afternoon I feel fine but am SOOO tired.  Victor and I went to eat after I was done and I have been laying on the couch napping ever since (4pm to 8 pm).  Now it's 9 pm and I am finally feeling somewhat lively. :)

The only other thing that caught me off guard today was the emotions.  I found myself in tears 2-3 times during the harvest process.  I'm so thankful to be able to donate but I am so sad that it is necessary. :( I am so glad this portion of the transplant process is done! On to the real deal now (sometime in May - the date isn't picked yet!).

The freshly harvested stem cells!

A little exploration

I woke up with quite a bit of pain, so much that I decided to take a pain pill in the morning.  That really helped take the edge off for the rest of the day.

After the pain meds kicked in I walked over to Daron's (Victor drove because we brought him some Gatorade).  Daron looked good this morning and said he felt a little perkier than he has recently (might even check his mail!).   We hung out for a while with Daron and then headed north.  Daron said he thought it was the first time he can recall talking to Victor without 1-2 kids in Victor's lap. Ha!

We spent the afternoon/early evening exploring the area just north of San francisco.  It was a fun afternoon.  The area is so incredibly beautiful!

On the north side of the Golden Gate Bridge

Beautiful views at Fort Cronkhite

We stopped for lunch in Sausalito.

Amazing Redwoods at Muir Woods National Park

Awesome!!

The curvy roads almost made me puke so I drove on the way back.

The curvy roads made me super nervous to drive on though.

I'm not sure which sensation was worse?

Don't worry shots 7/8 were completed too!

Harvest Day #1 will be tomorrow (Wednesday morning)

I am really not nervous about it at all, although if they fail to get access peripherally (arms) 

the nerves will kick in quickly!! :)

Sad puppy?

On my walk through the park this morning I spotted these and took a photo for the kiddos....

I miss my sweet babies, worse after skyping with them today as Lainey looked like a 

sad little puppy dog.  She had her lip stuck out and would barely look at me.  Poor thing.

Thankfully, they are in good hands with my mom and Aunt Cyndy so I have no worries about their care.

I am definitely more sore today, worse in the morning than afternoon.

I moved onto stronger pain meds (just one dose before bed last night) which helped but it must have made me more groggy that I thought as when I called Nicki and Victor to check on their flights shortly after getting up they both thought I sounded drunk.  Ha!

In the words of the transplant coordinator, no pain no gain, as the pain is secondary to the marrow expansion, stretching the periostium which causes pretty significant pain.

Bring on the pain, I guess! :)

. 

I am so glad to be a match and even if Kevin or Colin had matched Daron (they don't) I still would have arm wrestled them for the opportunity to be the donor.  

That being said, every ounce of me wishes that Daron didn't need a bone marrow transplant. 

There is so much that is crappy about him having leukemia.

The week we found out he was going to need a BMT I could not sleep.

Being out here, spending time with Daron and Feifei has been great.

Daron is starting to feel better after a difficult round of chemo and longer than expected hospital stay.

His spirit is still strong, and somehow, even though he is the sick one, I always go away feeling encouraged after spending time with him. :) 

We don't know for sure when the transplant will take place.

They sometimes try to match the harvest with the transplant date but since I live so far away 

and the transplant date isn't set in stone yet (sometime in May) they are going to do the harvest while I 

am out here (Wednesday/Thursday) and then will freeze it so it's available for Daron when needed.

Two hematologists have reassured us that freezing is just as safe as fresh.

Victor made it here after a short delay in Milwaukee, we will try to get him in the photos tomorrow. 

Thanks for all the prayers and support from everyone.

Day 2 of shots are done!

Nicki and I spent the day exploring the downtown (shopping district) area and Chinatown.

We also spent a bit of time down at the Piers (cheesy-cheap shops).

We had hoped to take a ferry to Alcatrez but it was sold out.

Our day ended with an excellent dinner with Daron and Feifei.

Shots #3 and 4 are done.  

I almost wimped out with shot number 3!

(Good thing Nicki was there to make fun of me for being a wimp).

  I am fairly achy but tylenol has controlled the pain okay so far.

(Walking around seems better than laying down which, if you know me well at all, is excellent.)

So far so good.

The Real Mission Begins

My first few days here have been spent either waiting at the hospital/clinic for appointments/tests or walking around and exploring San Francisco.  I have also spent time with Daron, Feifei, and now my friend Nicki.

There has been lots of walking.

This is a photo along Lands End trail where we saw a whale spouting, 

sea lions, and some naked sun bathers!

Pedicures with Nicki! 

But now reality is setting in. :(

I have given myself the first 2 of 8 (possibly 10) neupogen shots tonight.

They stung but weren't as bad as I anticipated.

Most patients that take Neupogen as donors get fairly significant bone pain after 

the 2nd day of meds.  We will see.

I have started taking Claritin which is supposed to help with bone pain and 

have pain meds available as well if needed. 

The harvests will be Wednesday/Thursday.

Please pray that they will be able to get access via my arm veins.

I have one good vein on my left arm but nothing very exciting on my right arm.

If they don't get good access in both arms then I will have to have a fairly large catheter in my neck

which involves having an incision made in my neck while I am awake.

I would get through it just fine but if I can avoid that I would prefer too of course!

The Coast

Happy Birthday From San Fran

We ate cake to celebrate Grandma Kay's Birthday today!

Thanks for watching the kiddos while I am gone Mom.

I hope your birthday was fun!

Happy Birthday Grandma!

So Grandma Kay is here watching over the kids while Ann is starting
the donation workups in San Francisco, and today is her birthday!
35!!

I'm not sure from the photo above if the kids were happy to sing and
have cake (twice) today.

I do know that since Grandma came, they:

1. no longer like jelly on their PB&J, just like Grandma
2. prefer Grandma to read them books
3. prefer Grandma to give them baths
4. prefer Grandma to take them on walks
5. prefer Grandma to take them to the park

Grandma's been a great help this week, and we're very thankful for her
willingness to come out during this stressful time.

Happy Birthday Grandma Kay, we love you!

Fun Morning "Run/Walk"

It's a little fuzzy.

I didn't want to get too close in case the geese attacked!

A picture a day while Mommy's away?

I am in San Francisco again, visiting Daron and getting ready for the bone marrow harvest procedure.  I am going to try to take a photo of something interesting everyday and post it here for the kids while I am gone. Enjoy.

Carson - 13 Months

Sweet little Carson!

He is such  busy, busy boy now.

He makes me smile!

Physical Development:

Walks/runs everywhere

Throws balls overhand well

Kicks balls everywhere

(this is so funny to watch, it's also a 21 month old skill - he is ahead in that department)

Language/Personality:

Carson babbles now, mainly baba, dada.

He has words for no, all done, uh oh, hi, and Erik but the enunciation isn't very clear.

He signs milk and shakes his head yes/no.

He is such a sweet little baby.  He loves to snuggle into our chests.

Carson has pretty bad separation anxiety now.

He plays independently fine at home (not clingy) but hates being left in the church nursery or gym daycare.  In fact, he has been getting "booted" from the gym since he won't stop crying.

Poor little guy!

He also hates taking baths now.  

This started after Daron's wedding so I wonder if the huge shower (no tub) in the hotel room scared him.

Carson is generally a happy, happy little guy but he definitely has opinions.

He arches his back and yells if he is mad.

Carson has a love/hate relationship with Lainey.

He gets excited to see her and loves to be in her room.

They fight a lot though too (over toys) and he often bites her (she is his main victim).

He also often gets mad when I am holding Lainey on my lap and fusses and complains about it.

If I don't put her down either Lainey or I will get bit.

Lainey is usually super sweet to him.

If he is sad she runs and gets her treasured blankie and shares it with him.

If she feels like he is a threat to her toys though she isn't afraid to knock him over

 (this might be why he bites her!).

Carson loves Erik.

He seems to call for him and uses the same "word" consistently when getting his attention.

Erik acts generally acts as a protector/care giver for Carson.

They fight less for sure but play less intensely too.

It will be fun to watch their relationships develop.

Sleep/Eat:

Carson is still nursing 5x a day.

He has no interest in quitting BUT he will take a

bottle of rice milk from Victor now (yay!).

If I offer it to him he spits it out and throws it on the floor. Ha!

He eats a wide variety of table foods and doesn't seem picky at this point.

He sleeps from 7:30 pm to 6:30 AM.

He still takes 2 naps a day.

13 month Stats:

Height: 31 inches (75%)

Weight: 22 pounds (30%)

Carson is such a joy!

We love him so!

Too Much Sugar?

When we completed the 14 week food challenge I was amazed at how much added sugar we were eating, even without many processed foods in our diet.  It is hidden everywhere!  Gross.  My favorite food blog, the place I found the 14 week food challenge, had an interesting post today and I wanted to share it with you.

http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2012/04/12/newsflash-we-are-not-just-fine/

If you have never tried cutting out ALL sweeteners for a week I urge you to try it.  I think you will find it easier than you might expect and will likely be surprised at how much better you feel.  We don't cut it out completely on a daily basis but we are much more aware of what sugar we are eating.

Photo Update

Victor made a cake for my birthday this weekend and set me to DC on Saturday for a massage and lunch with friends. 

First massage in a year, it was excellent.  He's a good man.  You'd feel really bad for him if you saw how grumpy I was yesterday about the massive amount of things we "needed" to get done in one day!  Poor guy.

No candy for easter this year. 

I also fail to see what an Easter bunny or hunting for Easter eggs 

has to do with the real meaning of Easter so we told the kids the truth.

They know that we hid the eggs and gave them baskets.

They also know why we celebrate Easter.

 The Easter egg hunting was fun.

Carson was quite excited about the "balls."

Notice that Erik is wearing soccer clothes.

He has been wearing some form of soccer gear every day

for a month.  He is obsessed! I think it is so cute!

He wore his shin guards all day today!

 First cookie - this was from last weekend but I think it is cute!

First picture of our family, courtesy of Erik

Note: He is wearing red shin guards and cleats in this photo.

Obsessed!

Explaining a bone marrow transplant to a 4 year old.

Erik and Lainey have figured out that I am going to see uncle Daron again.  They don't seem sad about it yet but they are wondering what I will be doing there.  WHen I put Lainey for her nap she seemed kind of glum and wanted to know why I had to go away?  The trip is still a 10ish days away but I figured I better start explaining things since their little brains are thinking about it apparently.

I tend to be honest to a fault so I plan to be upfront about this trip at an age appropriate level.  While Lainey was napping I was able to have a pretty nice conversation with Erik about my upcoming trip.  

Here is how it went....

Me:  Erik, where is Mommy going pretty soon??

Erik: To California to see Daron.

Me:  Do you know what I am going to be doing there??

Erik:  No. What?

Me:  Well, Daron's body still isn't working right and the doctor's think Mommy's body can help fix it.  But I will need to be with Daron in order for my body to help fix his.

Erik:  How are they going to fix it Mommy??  Didn't the medicine fix him??

Me:  Medicine is usually able to fix bodies but this time Daron's body is still not working right.

Erik:  How are they going to fix it now Mommy?

Me:  I had Erik go get an anatomy book we have and asked,  "What do we have inside our bodies? What comes out when they stick a needle in our arms?"

Erik:  BLOOD!

Me:  Yes.  Do you know how our bodies make blood?

Erik:  No. How?

Me:  (Turn to the skeletal page in the book that shows the inside of a bone)  Do you see this cool picture??  This is the inside of a bone.  Inside our bones there are special factories that make blood. (Turning to the circulatory system page)  Do you see this?? We have blood everywhere inside our bodies.  It helps our heart work, our stomach work, and helps our body fight off germs.  It's very important.  

Mommy and Daron have the same factories inside our bones.  Since Daron's factory isn't working the doctors are going to take a very tiny bit of Mommy's factory and put it inside Daron's body.

Erik:  How??  A big shot??

Mommy:  Well, they will use a shot to get a little bit of the factory out of Mommy's body.  Then they will use a big tube and needle and put it into Daron's body.  Mommy's factory cells are amazing and they know how to get to Daron's broken down factory.  Once they get to the right place Daron's factory will start working again and his body will feel better.

Erik:  That's so cool Mommy!!

Mommy:  Yes, it is pretty amazing.

We also talked about how Mommy and Daron both have Factory A.  Kevin, Colin, Daddy, Grandma, Papa, etc. might have Factory B or C so the doctors can't use their factories to fix Daron's broken factory.  

Victor's weed wacker is broken, which Erik has helped him try to fix using duct tape (there is a hole in a tube somewhere).  Erik knows that didn't work.  Erik wanted to know why the medicine didn't fix everything.  I explained that it was like the duct tape, it helped Daron a little but it was still broken (leaking).  So now Daron needs a new factory just like the weed wacker needs a new tube. 

We switched from that conversation right to the topic of guns so he didn't seem  to be concerned or fazed.  I feel better that he has some idea what his mom and Uncle will be up to later this month and hope I was able to explain it in a very non-scary way. 

Good Friday

It's good Friday.  Prepping the kids for Easter this year has been fun.  I have been spending extra time reading bible stories and watching videos regarding Easter with Erik.  He has been really, really interested in it and has some good questions.

" So Mom, how do our bodies float up to heaven?"

I love watching 4 year old brains work.

This Easter season my heart is heavier than normal so at the same moment that I am teaching my sweet, innocent (somewhat - the boy has an attitude at times!!) 4 year old about Jesus dying on the cross for us there are doubts flying around in my head and heart more than normal.  

Of course, trials are normal part of life.  Having faith in God doesn't protect us from burdens and sorrow.  I wish it did, but it doesn't.  

I realized recently that my faith is a bit shallower than I would like to admit.  It's there and secure but not as deep as it might be.  My cousin Julie kindly reminded me that as a Christian, no matter what our circumstances, we should always have faith that there is a reason for our trials and that there is always hope!  She is right.  I love that her faith is so strong, secure, and unwavering.  I hope and pray that my kids will have the same sense of security in their faith when they are my age.  Please Lord help me show them that! 

 As most of you reading this know, Daron has Leukemia.  He has been doing well and had a wonderful wedding celebration in March.  He is now preparing for a bone marrow transplant though which is going to be very trying and difficult on his body.

Thankfully, Daron and I are a "perfect" match so I will be flying out to California in a couple of weeks to join him in the transplant process.  I will be out there for 2.5 weeks which is why I have been working so hard at weaning Carson (NOT working!).  It's going to be an interesting time for my mom as she will likely end up forcibly weaning the poor baby.

Prayer requests this Easter season....

Daron, as you may have guessed, is a bit more private/quiet than I am so I don't have anything more specific than requesting that his body be completely healed and the transplant goes well!!  

I will be away from the kids for 2.5 weeks please be praying that they (and I) handle it okay.  I am most worried about Carson and the weaning issue. ( I did get him to swallow one sip of rice milk today which is an improvement over any combination of cow's milk.)  Additionally, I feel like he might think I just up and disappeared (abandoned him) since he has know way of knowing why I am gone.  

I am very grateful to be Daron's match.  It's an honor to be able to participate in the transplant.  That being said, I am quite anxious about a portion of the donation where they give me Neupogen and hyperstimulate my bone marrow.  If you could please pray that I have peace about this I would appreciate it. (The doctor's are fairly confident it is safe but it is a newish drug with minimal long term safety data.)  

For my parents and aunt as they watch my kids (mom for 3 weeks, Dad for 4-5 days, and my aunt Cyndy for 4-5 days. (Victor  will join me during the last week of my "trip.")

For Feifei - Daron's best friend and new wife!  She is an amazing companion for him.  We are so thankful for her.  

Again, complete healing for Daron.  He is a quiet pillar of strength who has handled this terrible trial with grace and dignity.  

Thank you!

I leave you with this song that has reminded that there is hope and joy no matter what trials we are facing!

Happy Easter!

Grandma, this one's for you!

My grandma, affectionately called GG by my kids, is a hip 85.  She is hard working, kind, honest, and can beat just about any while playing cards.  She even travelled from Kansas to Texas for Daron's wedding, never guessing the most dangerous part of that trip would be the airport tram (ahem, Colin).

Anyway, she has an appreciation for spunk (good thing or I would be in big trouble) so I thought she (and you ) might get a kick out of this impressive video.

You have 3 months to learn this grandma before turning 86!

Up for the challenge?!

Notable Quotes: Lainey

Lainey loves music.  She sings all day long and insists on having music on in the car.  Now she even insists on a particular genre.  She whines in the car unless I put on the "Blues" station.  Today, I tried convincing her that we were already listening to the Blues but she knew I was tricking her and complained until I turned it to the jazz station.  Funny, funny girl.

Weaning

Carson loves to nurse, he still nurses 6x a day.  All of my kids have loved nursing but he is much more passionate about it than the other two.  I was planning to let him nurse until he was 16-17 months old but my plans have changed so I need to start weaning him now instead (no I am NOT pregnant).

I have offered him whole milk about once a day since he turned one.  I took video tonight of him with a cup of cows milk.  I missed the first sip and frantic spitting out of the milk but you will get the general idea.  Wish me luck in this process!

Bad Words

Erik spent about an hour over at James' house today.  They are great buddies and spend most of their time together digging for treasures under the deck or fighting the south in the Civil War.

Today was a Civil War Day.  Erik had a great time but seemed really upset when he got home.  I asked him if something had happened to upset him and he sobbed, "Yes!"

 "What was it?" I asked.

"James looked at me and said bad words!"  More tears.

"What bad words did he say?""

He said,  "It's time for you to go home." But I wasn't ready to go home yet.


Hahahaha!!

I hope he continues to play with friends that use those kinds of bad words.