Ode to Daron :)

Below is a long version of the speech I gave at Daron's funeral.  I want to share it with you.  He was a wonderful brother!  I'm so thankful for him. 



 Daron and I spent a LOT of time together as kids.  We lived in a house without a TV in rural Wisconsin with no neighbors or relatives close by.   I have so many fond memories of my first best friend.  We spent a lot of time playing outside.

Climbing trees (only one arm ever got broken!)

Sledding over ramps and off cliffs in the gravel pit.  (There was a gravel pit at the top of our driveway that provided excellent sledding opportunities before my parents planted 10,000 Evergreen trees in that field.)

Wandering through the woods and fields behind our house.  My mom, who tends to be a bit cautious, seemed to have no qualms about us wandering far and wide by ourselves.  I remember one summer we brought home tons of little crawfish we'd caught in Benn Nut Creek that runs back in the woods about a mile from our house. 

We did get to come back inside occasionally.  Although, we didn't have a TV we did get to play the Oregon Trail game on our computer.  Kept dying of dystenary though!

We also seemed to spend a lot of time on the bus.  Daron was a quiet, tender boy. He was most definitely not excited about the bus during his first year of school.  I can still recall him crying so hard he had purple spots on his forehead.  He did adjust of course but I know he sat next to me for a long time and then eventually he would sit in the seat behind me.  How do I remember this?!  I distinctly remember him sitting behind me because he always breathed peanut butter breathe on me.  So gross!  I still can't stand the smell of peanut butter. 

We used to have some fun on the school bus.  One time I remember making signs saying, "Help! Help! Being held hostage!" and putting them on the windows trying to attract attention.

The most fun bus event involved large syringes Dad used to bring home from the vet clinic.  These made the BEST squirt guns!  One time Daron and I (mainly I) decided to bring them onto the bus.  We armed our friends with large volume syringes and situated ourselves in the first and last seats of the bus.   We then had great fun on our 45 minute bus ride.  The fun ended shortly after arriving to school.  It must have been winter time because I remember walking to the principals office in my socks (presumably because I'd taken off my boots but didn't have time to get my shoes on).   Getting called down to the prinicipals office over the schools loudspeaker was most likely the worst moment in my life for many years!  For some reason, Daron got excused from the office much quicker than I did!

For a couple of years, Daron and I shared a bedroom.  As a parent of 4 kids now, one memory that makes me chuckle the most is when Daron and I caused a great ruckus in the middle of the night.  We were probably 7 and 9.  I had woken up to go to the bathroom and in the pitch dark could not find my way to the door knob or light switch.  So, I woke up Daron.  Together, we decided we were stuck and panicked which led to very, very loud screaming and crying.  At 2 AM.  You can imagine how happy my parents were about that, especially given the fact they had a 3 and 1 year old who were likely woken by our chaos.   That was not one of my favorite memories as a kid but now it brings a smile to my face every time because I can picture my kids doing exactly the same thing. 

Daron and I were always very different so our extra curricular activities were quite different.  He loved sports and played basketball throughout high school.  My basketball career ended in 6th grade after I scored my only points of the season, for the wrong team!!  We both loved music though.  We were three years apart in school but we did get to play in Jazz band together for a year which was fun.  We also spent a few years taking piano lessons together.

After high school, he followed me to La Crosse for college.  I'm so glad he did! We spent a lot of time together during his Freshman year there.  I was in PA school and busy but saw him at least once a week.   We had many of the same professors since we both took pre-med courses. I am so glad I got to experience part of college with him and get to know some of the people that meant the most to him during that time.  Did you know my smart, quiet brother was nominated as top Biology student from UW-L the year he graduated?  This was based on both academics and character.  I didn't even know such an award existed!

The last 10 years have been busy ones.  I've gotten married, worked at 3 different clinics, had 4 kids, and moved multiple times!  Daron was equally busy.  He went to medical school, residency, got married, and of course fought leukemia.   Even during the busiest of times we managed to spend time together.  In 2004, Daron and I drove from Atlanta to Wisconsin together which is a great memory.  We'd both just met our future spouses so we had quite a bit to talk about.  We spent a few days hiking in Gatlinburg, TN.  It was a lot of fun!

After Victor and I moved to the DC area in 2007, Daron came out to see us at least twice.  He was one of Erik's first babysitters!  He made it three hours before calling and telling us to come rescue him from a crying baby!

The past 2.5 years have been really difficult.  It's not fair that Daron's life had to end so early. But despite the heartache,  leukemia has managed to bring our family even closer.  I have been out to California 7 times in the past two years.  One of my trips out there was 12 days long (I had a 4, 2, and 1 years old at the time)!  I'll always be thankful for the time I was able to spend with him.   For a number of years our conversations mainly focused on practicing medicine.  When he had to stop working, I was worried I wouldn't know what to talk to him about.  I shouldn't have worried!  Daron kept reading and studying throughout his illness.  He was always telling me about new studies he'd read.  He also made many, many book recommendations.  I read, or tried to read, most of his favorites.

Daron was also a good listener.  He always wanted to know what was going on in my life and would give thoughtful advice when asked.  When I was struggling with whether or not to go back to work after having kids he pushed me more than anyone to give it a try.  I've been back at work part-time for 18 months now and love it!  Daron was happy to claim responsibility for helping me make that decision. :) 

One of the things that Daron did better than almost anyone was to "love people well."   No matter the flaws, he found a way to look past them and see the good in everyone.  I told him, the last time I saw him in person, that I would do my best to work on decreasing my list of pet peeves and try to just love people for who they are, flaws and all.  

Daron remained a vibrant, interesting, and kind person throughout his entire illness.  I never heard him say, "Why me!" He wasted no time being angry and made the most of everyday until the very end.  He was a true hero.  I will always, always be thankful I got to have him as my brother.