40 years/One Year

5/26/2016

This marks one year since I realized Victor had decided to continue the affair, supposedly stopped in early March of 2015.   This marks the day my marriage ended.  One year ago, I was devastated, scared, embarrassed, and angry.  We'd been in counseling for 8 months.  I'd worked SO hard at trying to be the best wife possible.  V had made steps that indicated to both me and our counselor that he was invested too. But 5/26/15 he stopped pretending.  He admitted to a lunch date with his girlfriend that day; immediately after he had met with our counselor individually for accountability.  It was a day I had spent cleaning up piles of vomit, only one day after being sick myself.  Not a great day.

But here I am, one year later.  Still standing!  And standing tall, with my head held high, when not on my knees praying!  The kids and I have formed a tight bond.  It wasn't an easy transition (poor, poor Erik really struggled)  but with hard work, counseling, help from friends and family when needed, and prayer we made it! 

It wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be.  I am confident that the kids and I are all much happier than we were a year ago.  Peace has been restored to our home that had been gone for years.

I didn't realize until Victor forced an ending to our marriage how stressful our house had been.  It was stressful!  Partially due to four small babies and losing my brother; but really exacerbated by a struggling marriage/super unhappy spouse/Dad.

Is this were I wanted to be 15 months ago?  No way.  Do I think our marriage could have survived and thrived?!  Absolutely.   But that wasn't possible when only one person was invested.

Are the kids and I happy, healthy, and very blessed?!  Absolutely.

I come away from this year, feeling so grateful for the many, many blessing in my life!  I am a happy, healthy, have a great job, and four of the best kids on the planet.  So little to complain about over here!

I do anticipate some bumps during the next 1-2 years as presumably our separation will lead to divorce.  Please pray for continued PEACE, that my kids will stay safe, and God's direction/presence will be obvious during that transition.  Thank you!

5/29/2016


This marks 40 years that my parents have been married!  40 years!!  Now that's an accomplishment.  Was their marriage an easy one?  No way!  But they are both hard working, honest, kind, and stubborn people - who stuck it out through the best and worst of days.  Forty years has required a lot of work and compromise, but doing so has left them with a peaceful, fulfilling relationship - friends still after forty years.

I am so proud and thankful! 
Good job Mom and Dad.