Four-CHEN-ate!: Happy Birthday Daron!

Yesterday, Daron would have turned 32.   Tomorrow marks 7 weeks since he passed away. To be honest, the first 3-4 weeks I felt mainly distracted (2000 mile drive with 4 young kids) and relieved. He'd suffered so long that I was/am thankful that he is no longer in pain.

About 2 weeks ago, the first wave of deep sorrow hit me.   For about 5 days I was in a major funk and didn't realize until I got out of it that that was grief talking. I think we've been grieving off and on the entire 2.5 years he was sick but during the time, no matter how bad he felt, he was always there for us. When he was ill and I was feeling sad or panicked about his illness, a phone call or visit with Daron almost always was a source of comfort and encouragement. He had a calming presence and really expressed very little fear or anger about his situation.

I don't feel panicky now, just sad. I miss him. He was my friend and brother. During the past 20 months that I've been working part time I have always called him on my way home from work. He didn't always pick up but I always loved it when he did. There were many days that I spent 30 minutes sitting in my driveway or the gym parking lot talking to him about my day.   He always seemed interested in hearing about my unique patients (no HIPPA violations were made!). No one else has the same interest and knowledge about my medical stories and I miss sharing that with him.

Yesterday, was a crazy busy day. Victor's birthday is May 17th. He is out of town so we celebrated his birthday last night before he left. The kids make birthdays a lot of fun now! My day was filled with cooking, baking, and exuberant kids.   I am so so thankful for the daily joy my kids provide. They are a wonderful distraction.

Knowing Daron's birthday would be centered on Victor this year, we celebrated Daron last weekend. My aunt Janet lost her son Jay shortly after birth. For the past 26 years (almost) she has baked a cake on Jay's birthday and given it to someone who needs an extra hug or is really important to her. I've always loved that idea, such a kind way to remember your loved one. I am going to do the same thing to honor Daron. I love that Daron's birthday will never be forgotten and will be marked by a kind act.

This year, I picked my friend Cherie to be the cake recipient. Cherie has been watching my kids on Wednesdays since November. My kids LOVE her and so do I. She is wonderful and I have had to tell her to be a little less fun because I think my kids like her better than they like me! :) In addition to a friend and sitter she is simply one of the most generous people I've ever met. While Carson was in the hospital she sent him toys and balloons. She's made our family dinner (while watching my kids)! And she sent the largest boquet of flowers I've ever laid eyes on to my parents for Daron's funeral. I've been so touched by her kindness and am so thankful she is part of our life!

Daron's favorite cake is a poppyseed cake with caramel frosting so that is what I made her!