Kansas/Nebraska

The kids and I spent 8 days traveling.  It was definitely work but the kids did really well!

We flew into Nebraska to spent a couple of days with my dad's family.  Three of my aunts and uncles, a number of cousins, and my almost-92 year old grandpa live  in Nebraska still.   It was really nice to see everyone!  I haven't had all four kids to KS/NE ever so it was a much needed trip!  In Nebraska we ate lots of yummy food, explored the Lincoln Zoo, Lainey went rock climbing, and I fit in a soggy 7 mile run.

The entire trip was inspired by my Grandma Baker's 90th birthday.  So after a couple days in Nebraska we headed to Kansas City.  We spent 4 full days in Kansas.  Lots of time with family and food.

The last full day the kids and I went to downtown Kansas City and explored there.  We went to Kaleidescope (Hallmark's kid place), ate at Fritz's (train delivers your food), met up with Aunt Barbara and head to the aquarium, then walked over to union station and explored the train display and a science museum (fun!).

Our flight home had a pit stop in Tennessee.  I am a very experienced flyer but phew was that ride bumpy.  There was a huge thunder and lightening storm over Kansas City the morning we flew out.  I thought our flight would be delayed.  It wasn't.  Instead it was rerouted south.  So so bumpy.  Poor Kyle yelled and hollered until he fell asleep.  Haha!  Erik and Lainey will be doing a solo flight soon - so they were sitting across the aisle.  I'm happy to say they handled it like champs.  Carson hated the turbulence as much as Kyle and I did but he just sat quietly while squeezing my hand to pieces. :)

I'm thankful for my family!  So blessed to have two living and healthy grandparents in their 90s! And thankful to be able to spend some time with them this summer!

 Grandpa Williams

 Grandma Baker

Lainey and Reid

My kids and my cousin Jill youngest two kids -

playing at Janet and Dennis' house and

exploring the zoo

 Travel day

 Grandpa Williams and four of many greatgrandkis

 Trains in Kansas

Lainey rock wall climbing with Alexa 

She made it to the top of a 42 foot wall twice

 Meeting up with my friend Diana from high school -
she lives in OH, I live in MD, we are from WI and met up inKS

 Grandma's party

Sparklers at Barbara's on the 4th of July

Grandma and her greatgrandbabies (minus Jake)
It was quite the party!
All of my cousins, siblings (including Feifei), Aunts and Uncles were there
Plus most of my Grandma's nieces and nephews came!
Can't hardly imagine what her 100th birthday party will be like. :)

Veil of Grief

Veil: (1) piece of fine material worn by women to conceal the face  (noun)
         (2) to cover, envelop, surround with as though with a veil  (verb)


I think it's safe to say, that grief has clung close to me during the past 4-5 years.  Losing Daron was a bit of a soul crushing experience.  He died just over two years ago, but was sick for 2.5 years prior to that, and grief was chasing me that whole time.   It was just hard.  Plain and simple.

Then as soon as Daron passed, my husband started immediately acting out, ultimately leaving the kids and I over a year ago.  Grief again.   Losing a spouse to sin, somehow doesn't seem to compare to the grief losing a young brother to cancer, but it is still hard.   Pressing through that grief requires a different skill set.  I was okay, better than I expected, but I was barely through the deep grief of losing Daron and immediately required to pull it together so I could help my kids through their own grief.  Hard.  Plain and simple.

I don't think it's possible to live on this earth and escape grief.  It touches us all. And it's always hard.  But it doesn't last forever.   Thank you Lord!

One thing that really suffered after losing Daron and Victor was my running.  I just simply couldn't run.  I don't know exactly why, but I couldn't. When I would try to run it felt like my feet were made of cement and my heart would physically hurt.

During the past 2-3 months, I've been able to run again!! Today, I conquered a 5 mile run in hot, steamy weather.  I'm not fast, but I can do it again.   This leaves me feeling thankful and triumphant.  It feels like the veil of grief has finally stepped aside for a bit and I am free again. 

Thank you Lord for carrying me through this valley.  Thank you Lord for the friends, neighbors, teachers, childcare providers, pastor, church, and family who have helped my through these challenging years.

I am so very thankful for my life, even the hard parts.  Gods love has been poured out on us in tangible ways.  I hope to live a life that brings glory to God and that he will use me to walk along others and bring hope and joy into others during periods of grief (like so many who did that for me).   And pray that I won't lose sight of His goodness during future trials and walks with grief.

Erik's sense of humor

Erik is my quiet kid.
But he loves a good joke and handles sarcasm really well.

Yesterday, he cracked me up with his quiet humor.

He had a soccer game, at a local field we don't play at often.
It's in a small "town" called Hollywood.

On our way there, Erik asked casually, " Mom, am I on travel soccer?"
He has try outs for this coming up.
I said,  "No, why?  Your try-outs are later this week."
He responds, " Well, then why do I have to travel so far for my soccer game. You said it was in Hollywood (referencing Hollywood, CA)."

Hahaha!  Good one buddy.

A few minutes later, as we pulled into the soccer field, he reads the sign that says, " Hollywood Soccer Complex."

Instead of reading the word complex as a noun; he read/ennunciated it as an adjective.    He did this as a joke and said, "Yep.  Guess this place really is complex." 

Silly guy!  Love it when his sense of humor surfaces.